Fall of the Morning Star
by Shotgun-Shuts-His-Cakehole123
Summary: It is universally acknowledged that Lucifer fell from heaven because of his hate towards humanity. But what if this was actually the exact opposite of what really happened? What if he fell because he loved one human a little too much?
1. Chapter 1

In the beginning, there was God. This we all know. What we do not know, however, is that he could be a bit of a dick sometimes. In heaven where the angels dwell, where the souls of the righteous come to rest, this tale does begin, and in hell where the souls of the wicked are damned, it does end: for this is the story of an angel with a shotgun, who fell in every sense of the word.

Before Eve came from Adam's rib, Lilith came from the same dirt that he did. It is probable God did not approve of such equality between them, but whatever his divine reasoning, he cast her out. She was abandoned, alone, and bitter; knowing not her crime, purely her punishment. But Lilith did not harbour a grudge, for she was a child of god and as such she trusted in heaven. But all the same, being cast from paradise is not an experience unlikely to change a person. In her mind there lurked a seed of worry that, fed by her questioning thoughts of why she was not good enough for Adam, grew into a monstrous weed of self-loathing and worthlessness. It was as if there were something missing from her, and all those that she grew close too could sense it. As a result she never found love, despite never acting cruelly nor failing to love with all of her soul. Of course, in her mind there was no one to blame but herself, and her feelings of worthlessness only grew. No one ever loved her. No one ever could.

Until the eye of heaven came to rest on her once more. The archangel Lucifer looked down to earth and saw her soul, her suffering, her loneliness, and how she never let it turn her into something dark, despite how hard she often found it to hold onto the light. He thought she was the most beautiful creation he had ever seen, and he knew he had to help her, make her pain go away. Had to show her there could be light again. In his mind a plan took form to show her she was loved. So he waved a hand and next to her house grew an apple tree, hung with the sweetest fruit outside of Eden. When Lilith saw, the roots of her depression began to wither at the ends, and for the first time since she could remember she was truly happy. Someone out there believed she was worthy of paradise. Her hands reached out for the lower branches, and she pulled herself higher into the tree. Gripping the thinning limbs, she climbed ever higher, until she broke through the canopy of leaves and stood high above the world. Turning her head up to the clouds, she thanked heaven for her little miracle.

The snakes had come on the third week, making them the sixth miracle. First had come the apple tree, which was still bearing fruit, then the spring that had somehow opened up just a stone's throw from her house, then the wildflowers, then the amber, the pheasants, the chamomile, the shellfish; and now this. Lilith had screamed when she first saw the two sinuous, iridescent green grass snakes winding across the uneven stone floor of her house; each of them as long as spear shaft and with rich golden eyes slit with midnight black pupils darting left and right as if searching out prey. But after a few hours of perching terrified on top of her shakily constructed wooden table, Lilith realised that these reptiles were not a threat, but the latest in a series of gifts. As if to prove her point, the left snake had struck out with lightning speed and engulfed the pebble-sized spider that she'd been too scared to remove from the corner by the bottom of the door. Lilith clambered carefully down from her retreat, her bare feet nervously touching down on the cold stone. The snakes raised their arrow shaped heads to look at her and bowed in unison, then slid rhythmically out of the door. Lilith poked her head over the threshold to see where they had gone, but they had disappeared into the sun drenched grass. Gazing up into the clouds, Lilith wondered if they'd be coming back. In the meantime, she had to go find something to sell. On days when she was running low on supplies she would set up a stool with a crate on it in the village and sell a portion of the food she had in exchange for things like firewood, clothes and other things she didn't have the knowledge (or axes) to come by herself. It wasn't fun, but she got by. She hated going to the village. The place was small: A beaten dirt track divided the clusters of thatched, mud brick shacks; which in turn were split by rickety wattle fences; all of which was blanketed with a mild stench of animal dung. But before the monotonous hours of vending began, she had to stop by the stream to catch enough crayfish to sell along with her apples. Once she had almost a basketful she would take that, a crate of apples and her rickety wooden stool

Cool water washed over Lilith's hands, soothing the thin red cuts on her fingers. Catching crayfish was painful: If you grabbed them wrong, their muscular claws bent backwards and sliced your fingers. If you grabbed them right, you could still cut yourself on their razor edged shells. Since Lilith a) didn't have any land to farm and b) was incompetent at most kinds of foraging and hunting, she was used to either bartering for food from the villagers (who all avoided her) or going hungry.

She spent a lot of her time hungry.

But ever since the apple tree had appeared, things had changed. A few days after her miracle; a flock of pheasants had flown over the village, and those with a good aim (or without) flocked to claim a bird for dinner. Miraculously; every arrow loosed brought down a pheasant directly over her house. By the time the confused hunters had given up and gone searching the woods for their felled prey, Lilith had gathered them all inside and already started plucking them. She'd eaten well for two weeks. Soon after her supply of dried meat ran out, the stream became home to a nigh on empire of crayfish. They were everywhere, and more appeared with every day, of all shapes and sizes. They were easy to catch, too. If "easy" means slicing your fingers to pieces... But they made good eating, especially when stewed up with herbs. Lilith had filled a basket of them in the first evening alone. Today she had about seven. Holding her fingers in the current for one more blissful second; she lifted her basket of crayfish and her crate of apples and left for the village to sell what she could. It was only a short walk until the first of the thatched, mud brick houses that compiled the village came into view. The warm stench of the livestock rolled in lazy waves off the wattle-fenced gardens. She hated it here. To much noise, too many people. There had to be around a hundred families in total, living in intolerable proximity and calling it "community".

Lilith hated small spaces, especially small spaces filled with people. If she felt cramped in her own house, how must these people feel with five kids and a partner in one room? She didn't get it. It was probably one of the reasons why she lived alone. Half the girls her age were married already, some of them even had kids. She guessed family life just wasn't for her. Or maybe it's because you're such a freak no man would touch you with a ten- foot spear. There they were again. The voices in her head. It had gotten better after the apple tree, but they were still there. You're a madwoman. You talk to yourself. You can't be around people. You're seeing things. A guardian angel sending you miracles? What better proof do you need that you're delusional? 'Shut up.' Talking to yourself again; at least you aren't doing it out loud this time. Come on, we all know the real reason no one wants you. You're mad; you're wrong, you aren't worthy of love. 'No. I am. The angel thinks I'm worthy. He sent me the miracles.' Case in point. You're addled in the mind. Lilith tried to blot them out. She tried to focus on something else. She tried to tell herself they were lying. She tried, but it didn't work. Copper coloured dust clouds drifted from her footprints on the dry road through the village, she found a spot next to the other vendors and set up a stool with her baskets of apples and crayfish to sell. If she could only manage to avoid- crap. There they were. A group of teenagers about seven idiots strong was headed her way.

"Dear me, Lilith," that was Stanly. The worst thing about him was that he knew he was funny. "I never expected you to get this desperate." She couldn't ignore him. He didn't work that way. Sighing resignedly, she took the bait.

"What do you mean, 'desperate'?"

"You know. I mean, we all knew you were mad, lonely and incompetent; but I for one never expected you to turn... To witchcraft," a volley of shameless sniggers chorused from the assembled fools.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're on about: I sell apples. I don't summon darkness," she changed her mind. The worst thing about Stanly was how he never mocked her directly; he only ever sounded falsely sympathetic. Like he was sad she turned out such a disappointment.

"Hello again. I was going to thank you for the snakes, they killed a couple of rats earlier on that were rooting around in the chamomile. I'm sure they're going to be useful to have around. If you're listening. Which you probably aren't. Curse it, you probably aren't even real. I think heaven was done with me a long time ago," Lilith sat in her apple tree and laughed a bitter laugh at the crimson sunset. "If you are up there, there's one thing I don't understand: Why are you doing this? Am I part of some kind of plan? Ordinary people don't just receive miracles at random. But the. I suppose I'm not 'ordinary'. Not to the villagers anyway. They think I'm mad, they think I'm a witch, they think I'm a widow who killed her husband. Probably my fault for talking to myself- well, to you. But they don't know that," Lilith laughed again, but there still was no humour in the sound. "But anyway; am I ever going to know? What I'm needed for? Why you're doing all this for me? I suppose I'll have to wait and see."

…

 _This story is written collaboratively by the three of us. Different chapters are written by different people. An updating schedule is not guaranteed as we all write at different paces. In the words of Chuck - writing is hard!_

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	2. Chapter 2

Lucifer opened his eyes, blinking away the imprint of the harsh glow his true form had spilled over the mortal he had taken for his vessel. For a few moments, all he could do was stand there, getting used to the controls of this new body. He cleared his throat tentatively, finding it dry and scraping a little as he swallowed, and watched with curiosity and amazement as his hands shook with the leftover adrenaline his vessel had still coursing through his veins. He was still in here, the mortal, desperately trying to hang on to himself in the depth of his simple mind, and Lucifer was astounded this body had the power to hold him without spontaneously combusting. Humans were stronger than he had initially thought, physically and mentally, although nothing compared to the power Lucifer held himself.

As his new eyes focused, Lucifer was able to forget about the mortal scrabbling at the edges of his mind and study the room. It was a simple, primitive room, with stones stuck together with clay for walls, a small fireplace found in the far wall, a wooden door held together and functional with iron nails and hinges, and a thatched roof hanging over his head, held together with tufty string and poles of wood. The furniture inside the room was as simple as the architecture. A sheepskin rug, a few rough-looking tables and chairs, shelves nailed to the walls precariously. On the tables there lay a sharpened knife, some gathered kindling for a fire in a basket by the fireplace, pots containing berries and some kind of meat on the shelves, and a very tattered leather-bound book sitting neglected on one of the chairs. By the look of it, the small, torn book hadn't been used very much and was more like a treasure to these mortals. Lucifer didn't suspect his vessel could read without him possessing him. They had chosen the most inconspicuous vessels for their trip down to earth, but now Lucifer thought of it, maybe that hadn't been the best of ideas, judging by the look of this place. He wasn't used to the simplicity of anything, so intricate and wonderful were the halls in heaven. He grimaced a little at the dust under his worn-looking boots, but decided to ignore the poor surroundings and maybe choose a more wealthy vessel next time.

Suddenly, someone clattered into the door, and Lucifer jumped backwards, almost slipping on the rug he stepped back onto. Standing in the doorway, a little hunched, as if he didn't know how to hold himself properly, was a young man, his hazel eyes wide and younger-looking than the rest of him. He wore trousers which looked too big for him, the ends of them muddy from trailing on the ground, and a baggy beige shirt, the sleeves far too long. His tawny hair fell down his back in a poorly-braided ponytail, and the skin which was visible was mottled with dirt. Despite this, he had a wide grin spread across his face.

"This is amazing!" Gabriel breathed, and Lucifer smiled too, the expression involuntary.

"I told you it'd be worth it, didn't I, little brother?" He said, his human voice surprising him, and he swallowed again to try to get rid of the dry sensation in his throat. Then he looked around the somewhat bare room again and frowned, "Although, we could have taken more... suitable vessels."

"They are both devout men," Gabriel shrugged, the gesture a little stiff, and dusted off his hands to try to rid them of dirt, "And I thought you were going for inconspicuous so we wouldn't be caught."

"That is true." Lucifer nodded. There was a pause while Gabriel studied him, and he could sense the confusion and wonderment about their human forms from his little brother. He smiled again, "Come, we did not come here only to marvel at our vessels." He started towards the door, and Gabriel stepped back obediently to let him through. Lucifer almost flinched at the small and seemingly polite gesture. Maybe one day Gabriel would loose some of the timidness their father had stricken into him, into all the young angels up in heaven, but perhaps not for a while yet, Lucifer reminded himself as he let slip a quick sad look for a moment. Turning away from him and walking down the narrow corridor towards the wooden door leading outside, he let his thoughts leave his brother and his father and the rules back home and back to the matter at hand, back to why he had come here. Back to finding Lilith.

For a second he was immobilised, his hand on the latch of the door. He had planned for a while to come down from heaven to visit the human he had been watching over for some time now, but now it was actually happening, and he had Gabriel watching his back, clueless about the real reason they were here, nervousness started to send him a not-entirely-unpleasant fluttering sensation in his chest. He didn't know if it was out of anticipation of finding and meeting Lilith, or of the childish glee at disobeying his father, or maybe even the thought at teaching Gabriel to live a little more freely, but he was suddenly more eager to get out of this house and breathe in the fresh air of Earth as a human. Well, as an angel possessing a human, but that was as close as he was willing to get to actual human form.

When he pushed open the door, letting a blast of cold air rush over him and Gabriel behind him, his eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the bright daylight before he could see properly, but when he could, Lucifer's eyes widened. It was so different looking at the Earth from the ground - everything seemed so much bigger and more detailed up close compared to a birds-eye view. He walked out of the door and onto the street, turning to see everything in sight, trying to take in as much of the Earth as he could. The cool air, the smell of woodsmoke, the crisp crunch of leaves and gravel underfoot, the warmth of the dappled sunlight through the trees. The sound and sight of people, of sheep, of rustling leaves. The green of the undergrowth, the brown of the fallen leaves, the bright, saturated blue of the sky and the fluffy whiteness of the clouds within it. It was beautiful, but perhaps much of its splendour came from the contrast to heaven. Everything was just so different.

"Whoa..." Lucifer heard Gabriel let out a sigh of wonder as he stepped away from the door too, almost crashing into a man walking hurriedly past and knocking whatever he was holding out of his hands. He apologised and stepped back again, hanging his head as the man shot him an angry look, readjusted his hold on his bag and scuttled off. A thought struck him, and Lucifer allowed himself a mischievous smirk before heading over to his brother again.

"Why the face? Remember, no one knows us here, or at least, who we really are, but that doesn't mean we have to let these apes push us around," He eyed the man who had almost collided with Gabriel, who was still running down the path, which seemed to be heading to a busier main road, "We are the archangels of The Lord, and right now, we can do whatever we want, brother mine." He gave Gabriel a confident look, and he smiled wider when his brother tried to return it, "Come."

They started down the road to the busier area of the village, Gabriel tagging along behind his brother, while Lucifer looked for the man who had rushed past. It didn't take long for him to catch back up to the man on the main road, even when the place was bustling with people. When Lucifer spotted him, he also spied what he was holding - a bag of fluffy white feathers, probably going to use as stuffing in furnishings for the richer inhabitants of the village. From what he could see, they looked pretty expensive and pretty rare - perhaps they were fresh dove feathers or some other kind of birds plumage, treated to give them their white, soft-looking quality. An idea started forming in his head, and he started smirking again.

Beckoning to Gabriel, he bent down a little to whisper something in his brother's ear. As he relayed his plan, he felt nervousness and anxiety wave off Gabriel, but just a little bit of mischievous glee had planted itself in his mind. Lucifer gave him a quick, sly wink and they both started jogging towards the man carrying the feathers, a little more gracefully than before, now they were both getting used to their human bodies. Lucifer came sauntering out in front of him, a large grin on his face. The man looked shocked and a little harassed as Lucifer appeared suddenly, as if he had robbed him of something. Perhaps he had, or at least, the human he was using as a vessel had.

"You...!" He started, but Lucifer raised his eyebrows and a hand.

"Excuse me, sir," Lucifer took down his hand again and drawled a little, confidence and friendly charm radiating from him as he beamed at the man, "Do you have a little time to talk about our Lord and saviour?"

For a second the man just looked confused and wary that maybe this was some kind of trick. Lucifer couldn't help but chuckled a bit, biting back a laugh, and opened his mouth as if to say something else, getting the mans attention again.

Then Gabriel poured the contents of the mans bag over his head.

Fluffy white down floated everywhere, getting lodged in the mans nose, ears and hair as he flailed in shock. He stumbled and choked a little, giving Lucifer and Gabriel a little time to scatter away before the man started yelling something incomprehensible, making a terrific scene as feathers cascaded around him, getting trampled into the muddy ground as they landed, and Lucifer thought a little guiltily about the loss, but didn't have much time to rethink his decision. People stopped to stare, and Lucifer had to push his way through a line of them, making room for Gabriel to rush past his shoulder.

They stopped running by an alleyway, sheltered from human eyes. Lucifer leant on the rough brick wall as he caught his breath and Gabriel put his hands on his knees, tucking his head into his chest and puffing into his too-big shirt. After a few moments wherein the two brothers just breathed heavily, regaining their balance, they both started laughing shakily.

"Having fun yet...?" Lucifer grinned, still panting a little, and Gabriel nodded, beaming widely as he straightened up again and leant against the opposite brick wall, facing Lucifer. For a few more seconds, the two panted in the alleyway, recovering further from their feather crusade. When they dared to slink out of the shadows again and back into the crowds of people heading this way and that, Lucifer started heading towards the outer reaches of the village, his mind suddenly dropping back to finding Lilith. The excited flutter in his chest returned at the thought, and his pace quickened a little.

"Hey, where're we going?" Gabriel asked cheerfully as he trotted after him again, obviously happy just to follow his big brother around now, all nervousness and anxiety gone from his tone as he looked around at every detail, taking it all in gladly. Lucifer glanced over his shoulder at him, wondering how he would react if he met Lilith and learnt that seeking her out had been Lucifer's plan all along.

"I'm, eh... Just checking something out. Something Michael once said about that human... Lilith," Lucifer shrugged casually as he sauntered on down the path, trying to make it clear it wasn't a serious topic, but he felt Gabriel frown at the name, and he sighed as his brother found recognition at the name. Here we go...

"Lilith? The Lilith?" Gabriel stopped in his tracks, and Lucifer turned to face him, stopping as well. He looked Gabriel up and down again for a while, not sure what to say, then sighed again with a little annoyance.

"Look," Lucifer gave him a stern, indignant look, "I just want to see her. You don't have to come if you don't want to, Gabriel."

Gabriel looked cheated, "Of course I want to come, but... Isn't she supposed to be..." He inhaled sharply, looking around him nervously as if people were hanging onto their every word, "...flawed?"

"We're all flawed, brother," Lucifer answered, with too much conviction in his voice than he had planned, and almost hit himself when he saw Gabriel flinch timidly, "Look," He said again, trying to sound more apologetic this time, his words chosen carefully, "We all have our different ways of looking at things. You're loyal to our father's word, and I understand that. Maybe it isn't your place to meet Lilith, but I want to at least get my own opinion on her. Okay?"

Gabriel looked sullen for another moment, like he was a child being told off for rash words, and Lucifer flinched inwardly as he reevaluated his words - he had seen that expression far too often around Gabriel. However, he was relieved when his brother nodded slowly.

"I'll... Go back into town. Check things out there, maybe," He shrugged a little, and a ghost of a smile returned to his lips, "I'll see you back there?"

"Yes," Lucifer smirked mischievously again, wondering how else they could make an impression back 'in town'. Gabriel scarpered off after his words, like Lucifer had given him a command. He watched his brother go with still a little sadness, but with more joy at the thought of him enjoying himself now, even after their small confrontation. He would make a fun-loving angel out of him yet.

After a few moments, his thoughts clicked back to Lilith, and he turned back to where he had been heading out of the village to the outer houses. People and horse-drawn carts passed him every now and then, and soon he came to a small ramshackle market by the side of the road, looking frayed and battered compared to the one inside the village. Poorer-looking people traded here, everyone looking wary and a little haunted. What kind of 'haven' was this Earth supposed to be? These people were not perfect as their father had explained them to be, not like the people lucky enough to live in the Garden - they were fighting for survival, clawing and thieving their way through life. Lucifer frowned and grimaced in distaste, looking down onto a man who had just nicked an apple from a stall without paying. The man looked up at him with tired, narrowed eyes. Everything about his being stabbed foreboding and intimidation at Lucifer, but he didn't back down or cower, as he suspected he was supposed to do when a look of evil surprise came across the man's grim face. He gave Lucifer a crooked grin with too many gaps in it and bit into the ripe green apple.

Lucifer swung a fist at the man, catching him right on his jaw. He felt unexpected pain seer from his knuckles, but a moment after healed them over again, locking the procedure into his mind so he would be able to use it again without hesitance. The man, who had been send reeling backwards at the unexpected hit, shook his head and stumbled as he tried to regain his balance, growling in anger, and people stopped to stare, but Lucifer merely pressed two fingers to his forehead and the man slumped onto the trampled ground, unconscious. People gasped all around, thinking the man dead, and eyed Lucifer with wary fear. He sighed and looked down onto the man, taking the bitten apple from the thief's hand and reforming it so it was whole again. Then he stepped over the still form of the man and sauntered over to the apple stall, trying to ignore the silent, stunned gazes of the people around him, where he placed the shining green apple back on the rack. He looked up to say something to the stall-keeper, but as his mouth opened and he laid eyes on the human in the stall, his words were lost.

There, standing in front of him, was Lilith. He knew her face like he knew the back of his own hand (well, his vessels hand) even though he had never actually met her. He had been watching her from heaven, but, like everything else, she was so much better up close. Her pale skin, seeming almost white framed by the stark contrast of her jet black hair. Her sparkling emerald eyes, catching the light every time they moved, with the black pupil showing Lucifer her soul in all it's beauty. The flawed yet perfect soul of someone who had been cast out of the Garden with not so much as a second thought from his cruel father. It was unfair how much God loved these other humans, how much he loved his angels, especially Lucifer himself, and yet spared no such love for Lilith.

For a moment, Lucifer just took in her features and her mind in awe, feeling as shell-shocked as the bystanders who had witnessed his assault on the thief, still lying unconscious behind him. Lilith stared back at him, recognition and shock in her perfect, sparkling eyes.

"Stanley?" She asked, her voice sounding like birdsong, and Lucifer felt a smile play on his lips at his vessels name, "What in Gods name did you do?"

Lucifer felt another nervous flutter at his fathers name, another reminder at how forbidden this was. He looked back at the thief, a little guilt sparking in his mind as he was able to push his heavenly matters aside, "He stole from you." He said innocently.

"You... killed him? How did you..." Lilith looked shocked and harassed that Lucifer had seemingly killed one of her 'customers', and he immediately leapt in.

"He's not dead, Lilith," He said, saying the name with new meaning, and his smile threatened to return, but he bit his lip instead, trying to make his voice serious and reassuring, "He is merely unconscious. And I am not Stanley, if that answers your other... unfinished question."

"What?" Lilith looked confused, but relieved the man was not dead. Lucifer was puzzled at the lack of hate she felt towards this man - was she really just going to forgive him like that for stealing her stock right underneath her eyes?

"I am not Stanley," He repeated. He felt wary about revealing himself as an angel with so many eyes still trained on him. Looking over his shoulder, he nodded to the baskets of apples on the racks, "Why don't we go somewhere more private?"

"Why?" Lilith looked suddenly wary and defensive, and still very confused. Lucifer felt her puzzlement at his request and, more heartbreakingly, at the fact that he was talking to her, as an equal, maybe even as an admired being. People here treated her like someone beneath them, and yet they were the scum of the earth petty enough to steal from each other.

"Please, come," Lucifer insisted, "Here, I'll help you carry these back to your home, if you like. I'll explain everything once we're away from... Here," He looked over his shoulder again at the people walking by, recovered from shock as the man started to come to, groaning at the headache Lucifer had given him, but still eyeing Lucifer and Lilith questioningly, trying to hint at her that they needed to be somewhere else to talk. Lilith seemed to understand, and nodded, her guard still up, as she came around the side of the stall and picked up one of the apple baskets. Lucifer took the other one, wondering how she got them both here on her own in the first place. Of course, he knew exactly how she had them - because of that apple tree he had blessed her with.

That had been her first blessing.

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	3. Chapter 3

Lilith didn't know what to think. As she walked through the field she struggled to comprehend what she'd just seen: Stanley had knocked a man unconscious with only two fingers? For stealing an apple? From _her_? It was weird enough Stanley doing her a favour, but the supernatural powers were another thing entirely. Nothing made any sense. Thoughts and questions were filled her mind as her legs brushed past the bobbing grass stems and were stung by the cold dew drops. Lilith was only carrying one apple basket: Stanley-but-not-Stanley had insisted on taking the other. They had left the confines of the village a while ago and were walking back through the fields towards her house. Although part of her didn't feel at all comfortable letting him anywhere near her home, that was the only place she knew where they could talk in the knowledge they would not be overheard, and he seemed so insistent no one heard them. Like he was worried the trees had ears and a malicious agenda. Every so often on the walk back she would find herself looking at him from the corner of her eye, taking in his body language: the way he walked as if he wasn't used to having legs; the way his eyes darted as if seeing everything for the first time. Everything about him seemed different; new. He definitely didn't seem like Stanley. His voice, his words, his manner were all different. His behaviour was borderline possessed, not to mention his attitude towards her as if she were the most astonishing creation in the world. She'd always thought that boy being nice to her was less likely than a pig growing wings and flying. It wasn't natural. As they neared her house, her suspicions only grew. If she didn't trust him before, recent events made her trust him even less. His explanation better be pretty damn good.

"Please don't be concerned, I have a legitimate explanation for all of this," Stanley was perched awkwardly on the edge of a chair that wasn't much more than a glorified tree stump (woodworking was one of the many skills Lilith was bereft of), his back stiff like the concept of sitting was entirely alien to him.

"You'd better, because what happened back there, that wasn't natural, Stanley," she dropped the apple basket by her feet and stood facing him.

"My name… my name isn't Stanley," he said again. His tone was serious. With a deep breath, he spoke again. "It's Lucifer." _Lucifer._ What did he mean? She halted the avalanche of questions ready to roll from her lips when he raised his hands defensively. "I know how it sounds, I know, but listen. I'm serious. This body," he looked down at himself, "the body that belonged to- to "Stanley": this is a vessel. It isn't me. I'm just the mind inside it. I need to use a vessel to appear on earth because… let's just say there would be complications otherwise. I'm just using it. Stanley gave me permission to take it over, so that's why I look and sound like him. Theoretically, I could use anyone as a vessel, and in that case I'd look and sound like them. You understand?" The beginnings of a theory began to grow slowly in Lilith's mind, sweeping away the questions one by one. She nodded slowly, and he continued. If this was what she thought it was- if _he_ was what she thought he was… "I came here to look for you, Lilith. To meet you properly. I've known who you are for a long time now and I needed to speak to you; at least once. I didn't mean to make a scene back in the village," he smiled, "well, okay, I might have done… but you get my point. I just wanted to see you." He was trying to sound sincere and casual at the same time, and it wasn't really working for him, but Lilith barely noticed how nervous he was. Everything about this was starting to come together. For the first time in quite some years, a flicker of hope and certainty lit up within her. His eyes were expectant, awaiting her answer,

"You're the one who sent me the apple tree," she breathed. His face lit up at her statement, happiness written all over it, as if simply by recognising him she had granted him the greatest gift imaginable. His reaction confirmed it: this was the person who had helped her, who she'd been talking to like an imaginary friend. She wasn't mad, she wasn't alone, she wasn't seeing things. This 'Lucifer' sitting across from her was proof. She felt unimaginably relived. And happy too, as well as many other things, because why shouldn't she be? After three weeks of uncertainty, she had at least one small truth. "You're the angel."

Lilith didn't know what to feel. She was happy and she was angry and incredibly relieved, and all these emotions seemed to be waging a violent civil war inside her. She had no idea how to react.

"Prove it," she blurted out without thinking. God, she sounded so paranoid. "Prove that what you're telling me is the truth." He looked hurt at that. Not offended, but panicked, like he was suddenly .,in massive danger. He paused, took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes.

"When I sent you the tree, the first thing you did was climb. Straight to the top. I think you did it because, if you could feel the branches: that way you knew it wasn't just your imagination. Every day after that you would talk to me- I could hear you, when you prayed to me in your head. I heard everything. About how you needed hope, how you wanted to know that you weren't going mad. Every time you told me you needed a sign I heard you, and I just couldn't leave you waiting- what? What are you doing?" Silent tears had begun to slide down Lilith's cheeks. All that worry and stress of the past few weeks was washed away. _He was real._ There he was right in front of her telling her he was real, and not only that, telling her the only reason he was there was because she needed him to be. Now she knew she wasn't mad and she knew she wasn't hated by _everyone_ in the universe. All the defensiveness and caution disappeared from her demeanour. Lucifer looked confused. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Lilith smiled "In fact, I'm a lot more 'alright' than I have been in a while. It's just-" she wiped her face with one tattered sleeve of her dress. "It's just a bit much, you know?" She guessed from the look on his face that he didn't know. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you or anything, I guess I'm just overreacting." He didn't seem so concerned anymore now that she'd stopped crying. She took a deep, calming breath, "It's nice to finally meet you."

The smell of wood smoke lay heavily on the house, mingled with the sharp scent of herbs. The second Lilith had mentioned food, Lucifer had practically begged to be allowed to cook. His face was so hopeful and insistent she'd practically had no choice. Now he was kneeling in front of the fireplace with crayfish shells lying in a pile beside him and the meat slowly smoking over the crackling wood. She wondered why he was so eager to help out: first carrying her basket, now making her dinner. No one ever went out of their way to help her. Maybe he just _really_ loved to cook. If so, he cooked amazingly by the smell of those crayfish. And they were almost done… Food was considered a luxury in Lilith's mind, well-cooked food was held in even more reverence. She found herself leaning instinctually towards the smell, anticipating the taste of the smoked meat. _Have you got no self control?_ She was acting like a starved animal. Had she never seen food before or something? Lucifer was probably judging her right now, he probably thought she was some filthy dog begging for scraps. He'd been so charitable as to offer to cook for her and here she was behaving like some uncivilised peasant. And she'd brought it on herself, of course. She was suddenly and acutely aware of every single flaw in her appearance: her dress was muddy and second-hand, her hair was matted and unwashed, the bones of her wrist stuck out, she didn't even _own_ any shoes. Her house was tiny, the little furniture she had was badly made and broken, the floor was uneven, the straw was bursting out of her mattress at the edges, her _whole house_ was falling apart and she looked like a mess and she couldn't survive on her own without bloody _divine intervention_ and she was too skinny and always hungry and she had lived for twenty odd years (plus the ones in the Garden she didn't remember) and all she had to show for it was this sorry mess of an existence and she had no friends and no one even liked her and she was ugly and stupid and useless and she _wasn't worth it—_

"Supper's ready." She looked up. Lucifer was standing in front of her with a steaming bowl of crayfish in his hands.

The food was delicious. They had dragged two chairs outside to the low grass at the back of the house to eat, Lucifer had started a campfire with the dry logs to ward off the approach of the cold night. Lilith had savoured every bite, and once the bowl was empty of crayfish and sauce they had talked some more. Not serious, like last time. Just chatting. He seemed so interested in the most random of things: the lives of the people in the village, how she'd built her house, how to use a bow and arrow, if the stream flooded when it rained, if she'd ever swum in the lake, what having a cold felt like, and practically anything else you could think of. He asked more questions than a five year old child, and to be honest she found his curiosity kind of endearing.

"So how does all the thread say together?" he asked, cloth being his latest topic of interest.

"Well, it's all loose at the edges, but you fold those bits over and sew them up so it doesn't all come undone." Lilith didn't seem to get tired of explaining. It was strange; she didn't feel so uncomfortable any more. They had been chatting for hours, but she didn't feel awkward at all. She'd stopped thinking about how there was dirt under her nails, or how filthy her feet were from walking barefoot all the time. She wasn't worried about it; about _anything_. She wasn't questioning herself all the time, she wasn't picking up on all her mistakes. When she'd tripped over her words, they'd _laughed_ about it. Eventually, she realised she was feeling normal. Not 'the-way-she-felt-every-day' normal, but she felt like _she_ was normal. Like there was't anything wrong with her, like she wasn't mad or lonely. Like she wasn't failing at everything, like everyone in the world didn't think she was a freak. She smiled absent-mindedly. Normal felt fantastic. She looked at Lucifer, who was gazing into the glowing embers of the fire, and she somehow knew that the feeling wasn't going to last.

Lilith wondered if angels could cry. Was there ever any need for tears in heaven? She didn't think so. Maybe that was why Lucifer kept staring at her when he thought she couldn't see: he didn't know what sadness looked like, and he was worried there might be something wrong. That would explain it. He'd left a while ago; after night had fallen and the fire died. He said his brothers needed him, something like that. But before he'd gone he'd looked her dead in the eye and told her "I _will_ be coming back." She couldn't tell if that was emotion she heard in his voice or she was just imagining it. After he went Lilith had climbed the apple tree again. Not because of anything that had happened that day, or what she now knew about its origins; but because the branches of that tree had become her safe place, even in the dark, a place where she could relax, or think, or just be. That's what she needed to do just then. Be. Just exist for a bit. Try and process everything. She was thinking about what had happened that day, and she kept coming back to Lucifer: her guardian angel was real, he had come down to earth just to see her, and he'd been sending her miracles for no other obvious reason aside from he thought that she needed him. And he wasn't exactly wrong: Lilith didn't want to think about where she'd be if it weren't for the apple tree. It was hard to imagine it had only been three weeks since everything turned around; only twenty one days since the first miracle. Was it twenty one days ago for him too, or did time pass differently in Heaven? Did he remember it the same way? Was it kept in his memory as the day he had made himself part of her life forever? Probably not. Lilith just realised she sounded like one of the girls from the village: swooning over the first man that turned her head. Hopeless sappy romance was not going to put food on the table (bad analogy, she realised, he actually _was_ putting food on her table). But it was getting late. Now was not the time for reevaluating her life. She wondered if it was possible to fall asleep up here, would the cold be too much when night fell? If she went back to her house, she'd just be confused again. But confusion was better than pneumonia, and there was no way she was going to manage to wrap her head around what had happened, so she regretfully clambered down from the tree and traipsed home. Sleep was pulling at the corners of her mind. Inside, the smell of smoke still lingered in the air; and in her dreams it billowed from a deep red fire raging below her, around her, inside her; consuming the house and everything around it. She woke up in a cold sweat, and the fast-fading memory of happiness.

4


	4. Chapter 4

hi hunnies

no sorry we won't be updating anymore we've left our thirteen year old identities in the past

stay spoopy dolls

kisses, bye


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